“I’m tired of all these ****ing RINOS!” (If you can define them)

My friends, I think I have fallen into a trap, a trap that so many conservatives have fallen into, a trap that has ensnared all of us and may eventually lead to our doom on Election Day.

What is the trap? The acronym RINO. What does RINO even mean? I know what the letters stand for, but not what they actually mean.

Bear with me for a moment. RINO stands for Republican in Name Only. I feel this is impossible, unless you can first define a set of Republican values and Democratic values. Even further, remember that the effective head of the Republican Party, at least insofar as completing Republican goals is the Republican President (When Democrats are in office, RNC leaders assume the role). This complexity means that Republican values are essentially established by the President, to the liking or the disdain of conservatives.

I think our problem is that what conservatives dislike aren’t RINOs, but CINOs: Conservatives in Name Only. Conservatives assume that the Republican platform and the Conservative platform are one and the same, when in reality they aren’t. The GOP prides itself on being a “big tent,” and that means that primarily social conservatives like me also share the party with primarily fiscal conservatives and libertarians. Only as a coalition do we have the votes necessary to defeat the liberals of the Democratic Party.

Sometimes I wonder about my blind spot. For instance, when I do columns about Democrats or try to gauge the Democratic primary, I have a basic idea about what they believe, but I don’t have the stomach to troll around democratic boards to get the sort of inside baseball knowledge I have of Republican issues. One thing the Democrats do better, or at least appear to do better, is party unity. If you aren’t towing the democratic line totally and completely, you are shut out from the core of the party’s power, although you may be dragged out occasionally when your divergent views are a political asset. The Republican Party doesn’t have that, for better or worse.

Back to the RINO trap. I feel conservatives make a grave error when we start yelling about RINOs, because we hurl it around mindlessly. For the sake of argument, let us assume these two statements are true: All Conservative values are True Republican values. All Liberal values are not True Republican values.

Our ruleset for determining who qualifies for a RINO would work out thusly.

A True Republican is a candidate who is and has always been pro-life, pro-gun rights, anti-McCain-Feingold, anti-big government, pro-free speech, pro-traditional marriage, pro-strict constitutional constructionism, anti-racial preferences, pro-strong borders, pro-free market capitalism, pro-strong military, and pro-free trade. (I may have missed some, but this is as exhaustive as I can come up with).

Therefore (in no particular order):

Romney, Giuliani, and Thompson are RINOs because they were once pro-choice, even if they are pro-life now (Giuliani isn’t). (Note: Reagan fails this test)

McCain and Thompson are RINOs because they supported McCain Feingold.

Romney and Giuliani and RINO’s because they supported an assault weapons ban.

McCain and Sam Brownback are RINOs because they supported amnesty. (Note: Reagan also fails this test)

Ron Paul is a RINO because he supports isolationism and limiting military funding.

This is all I immediately know based on a quick reading of ontheissues.org. It leaves is with Jim Gilmore, Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Tommy Thompson who pass this particular RINO test.

The rub comes, of course, when people disagree on what “True Conservative Values” are, or when we get into priority squabbles.

For instance, I don’t think the assault weapons ban is that important compared to the right to life. My stance on the second amendment is essentially to keep basic precautions like background checks, registration numbers for guns and tracking for gun purchases, and then just leave people alone. A gun may be for self-defense, but it is still lethal and I feel minimal, but existent tracking is required. I realize criminals have their own black markets, but usually a criminal does not stockpile legally purchased weapons and then go on an all-out crime spree. If there were no tracking or background checks, a criminal could very well commit a crime with legally purchased guns, then leave town and repeat the crime elsewhere.

What I find important is the right to life. Abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem cells and even in-vitro fertilization all reek of the commodization of human beings. When we regard the elderly as disposable inconveniences [killing them wrapped in the flag of “mercy”] and the most vulnerable of beings in the womb as things which must be “perfect” and then enable a way to kill them indiscriminately if they don’t meet that arbitrary standard, would any civilized society look back and consider us anything other than barbarians? If we actively discard the weakest among us, why should we be expected to protect anyone else?

The point my friends, is that this RINO nonsense has the potential to tear us apart. I wonder if the Democrats with their jackbooted party unity are having a laugh at us as we tear into each other like a pack of angry wolves. If we do not stop tearing each other down and working against our own interests, the socialists of the Democratic Party win. So I implore you not to fall into the RINO trap. There are legitimate reasons to be concerned about candidates, but throwing RINO around like it’s the be-all and end-all reason not to vote for someone is idiotic.

 Candidate Update: Where I Stand (July)

Welcome to the second installment of candidate update. I’m currently thinking about featuring this once a month, since it allows plenty of time for things to play out. Here is a summary of the candidates to date. The last month has been slow for events and news regarding election 2008, a predictable lull before the storm. Last update here.

Democrats:

Hillary Clinton: The Glacier still has the mighty Clinton mud machine behind her, but she hasn’t implemented yet. Barry O is still running strong and Edwards is still pushing his two Americas rhetoric. Hilldog still has a few landmine statements that can easily be pulled out against her, and she’s still a robot. There are rumors she wants to meet with Edwards’ people, so I can only assume they want to knock out Barry O.

Barack Obama: The Messiah hasn’t been getting any media coverage lately so he’s not in the front of everyone’s mind at this point. He’s still inexperienced and is running on a charisma powered campaign, but that charisma has been eroding.

John Edwards: I may have overestimated John Edwards’ nutroots power in my last update. Sending his wife to attack Ann Coulter and in general falling on his sword too often are missteps that can hurt him. Apparently the cancer issue has passed, since he hasn’t been milking that for sympathy.

Bill Richardson: My concerns about Bill Richardson pegged on whether he made an aggressive move, and so far he hasn’t. He may just be biding his time for a big push or simply becoming complacent and falling behind.

None of the other Democrats really stand a chance at this point. If they actually had positions that differentiated each other, they might be able to usurp the Clintons and the media choice, but as it stands the Democratic primary is a popularity contest among socialists. Al Gore can’t get a crowd for his global warming pet project; I doubt he’s planning to run for President.

Most likely to win nomination: Hillary Clinton

Second: John Edwards

Republicans:

Mitt Romney: Who dares oppose the Mormonator? I’m still pulling for team Romney. The worst dirt they’ve managed to pull on Romney is that he once strapped a pet carrier to the roof of his car to go on a family vacation with their dog. His business and executive experience are still the strongest of the Republican candidates. Romney’s Mormonism is irrelevant to anyone seriously weighing the candidates, and any time Romney talks about his faith his numbers move up off the charts. I can’t conceivably see being swayed from Romney at this point.

Rudy Giuliani: Giuliani is still a bit of a lightning rod for me. He’s certainly more acceptable than any Democrat, but his hyper-moderate policies are a turn-off. I can trust Giuliani on the War on Terror, but I worry about his social policies. Supreme Court Justices are the single most important decision a President makes. This is because the liberals want to rule via judicial fiat. In a perfect world where liberals didn’t think the Constitution was a flexible noodle on which to imprint their agenda, this wouldn’t be such a big issue, but that isn’t how our world is.

Ron Paul: Virtua Fighter managed to overtake a plummeting McCain, but he’s still a Blame America First Truther crank. His internet support is strong, but his on-the-ground reality is weak.

Mike Huckabee: Huckabee hasn’t picked up any traction and is sliding into irrelevance. Still a strong VP choice, but unless he makes a few big waves in the next couple of months, he won’t win the nomination.

John McCain: In free fall thanks to Amnesty. He probably won’t be getting up.

Fred Thompson: The Paper Tiger himself. He still hasn’t declared, he’s just been postponing his big announcement and my patience has worn thin. Fred’s problem is he’s running a Republican Barry O style campaign: All charisma, no substance. If he weren’t on Law and Order, no one would know who he is nor would they care. My problem with Fred isn’t that I disagree with his opinions, it’s that he’s doing rehash mania of long held conservative opinions. He’s an essayist auditioning for President. Giuliani has new ideas, Romney has new ideas. Fred has… appeared on Leno and Hannity for softball interviews.

Most likely to win nomination: Romney

Second: Giuliani

I think if Romney wins he’s got Hillary and Edwards on the rope. Even for his “robot” fame Clinton makes Romney look like The Flash. Edwards lives off of Two America’s rhetoric that, if sliced through, leaves him without support. Giuliani has never proved himself to be Hillary bane, and a Clinton win would come more from conservative Republicans staying home and Democrats voting for the even more liberal Hillary then any technical majority.

Matrix:

Romney vs. Clinton: 52/48

Romney vs. Edwards: 54/46

Giuliani vs. Clinton: 49/51

Giuliani vs. Edwards: 52/48

 Activists for Peace: “Oh, How I Wish We Could Assassinate”

Hat tip: Hot Air

It is incredibly disturbing how the activists who align themselves with the “peace” movement carry fantasies of assassinating people. Betty Williams was apparently some Irish peacenik going down to Dallas to talk about impeaching Bush. She won a Nobel Peace Prize(1976), among such other peace greats like Yassir Arafat, Kofi Annan, and Jimmy Carter. I’ve heard Al Gore and Rush Limbaugh have both been nominated, but I sincerely doubt Rush will win. The Nobel Peace Prize has essentially become a platform for left-wing ideological puritanism.

There is a difference between pacifism and appeasement. Gandhi and King were pacifists, not appeasers. They practiced passive resistance; today’s peaceniks practice active appeasement. Peaceniks today are the modern version of Neville Chamberlain. Peace activists of today believe if you fold to your enemy whatever they want, they will simply be placated and go away. They believe we just need to “understand” the people who are trying to kill us and all will be clear. Unless of course, we come to the understanding that they really do just want to kill us in the name of their fanatical religion. If the truth is too hard for the modern day Chamberlain to swallow, they simply ignore it and go back to their “if only we could reach an understanding.” Peaceniks are oblivious to reality. They have never heard the phrase “those who beat their swords into plowshares end up plowing fields for those who don’t.” Nor do they place any confidence in the wisdom “speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Real peace comes from “big stick” diplomacy. For as much weakness and ineptitude the UN possesses, no matter how many condemnations it makes on America and Israel, it is ultimately a worthless institution because it cannot back up its words. This is because Israel and America each speak softly and carry a big stick. Many Middle Eastern oil renting tinpot dictators have tried to overtake Israel and failed. America has repulsed Nazism and Communism. Those who make it their duty to bean count every atrocity committed by America have to scratch, scrounge, and even imagine charges to bring up. A simple newspaper reading will expose the corruption of such rogue nations as North Korea, Venezuela, Palestine, Iran, and Cuba.

How ironic it is that those who “fight for peace” actually stump for dictators, fascinate about assassinations of foreign leaders in their own lands, and are nothing but useful idiots and doormats for forces that would silence them –violently- in an instant.

Profiles in Celebrity Awesomeness: Dave Mustaine

I’ve never been a fan of heavy metal, nor am I horribly keen on celebrities opening their yaps on political issues as if their fame and status makes them any more informed. I’ve rescinded such thoughts in this case, particularly because it was free of the gob-smacking hypocrisy, elitism, and PC grandstanding that often comes with it.

Witness Dave Mustaine, guitarist for Megadeth and Metallica. The American Spectator had an article interviewing Dave Mustaine and the criticism coming from the Blue Helmet Crew, due in no small part to the lyrics included in Megadeth’s new offering, “United Abominations.” To his massive credit, while his wikipedia page is long, it does not include a section on political opinions, “philanthropy,” or any such hallmark of a loudmouth busybody.

Mustaine addresses politics in his music, but it’s refreshing to see it isn’t all about PC garble and anti-Bush screeds. The article itself interviews him regarding his specific criticisms of the UN and he’s well informed on the matter. No preaching, no “holier-than-thou” elitism, just a controversial guy getting his message out there in a medium he has excelled in. Kudos to you, Dave Mustaine. Keep on rockin’.

 Profiles in Irrelevance: Katie Couric

This column was inspired by this article. How anyone became enthralled with the idea a bubbling morning news anchoress could become a serious representative of the nightly news is unfathomable to me. However, that is what happened in the case of dear Katie.

My criticism of Katie started early, when she initially said she would not be heading over to anywhere dangerous for a live report, presumably because her adult daughter wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure or some similar manufactured reason. That was blow one for me. Rather, despite being an easy con for any anti-Bush or liberal CYOA story was willing to actually put his rear on the line.

Couric thought that feminist gamesmanship might bring her some fame. How many of us remember the “women can do the evening news” type chants that hyped Couric up before she had even taken a seat? This added to my visceral dislike to her, especially since she wasn’t even going to do the equivalent risk-taking of Rather. That’s a big pet peeve of mine from feminists. They at once proclaim they’re working twice as hard as any man around them while they take on less responsibility, expecting a guilt-trip about some phantom patriarchy will make up the slack. We’re not supposed to criticize her unwillingness to perform all the duties of the job because she’s “in a man’s world” and we should commend her because she has a uterus and isn’t a total loser.

Katie Couric should have stayed the bubbly morning “infobabe.” It actually suited her talents and personality. Katie Couric is the news equivalent to the woman sewage worker who took the job to prove she’s “just as good as the boys,” even though she hates how her nails and hair are destroyed by the filthiness inherent to the job. Don’t bluster about like you’re Madame Big Britches just to make a political statement about gender equality. Do a job you like and enjoy; no one likes to work with a self-absorbed, pretentious whiner. None of the boys care that you’re competent; your rhetoric about “working twice as hard” in a job you knew was catered to more traditionally male talents is grating to everyone else. People don’t care if you’re a working single mother, people aren’t going to give you a placard just because you think you’re life is harder than everyone else’s. This is true regardless of profession.

Katie Couric is a letdown precisely because she wanted to be “a woman in a man’s world” instead of a woman content with her own talents and abilities. Couric wanted to run with the big boys without taking on the responsibilities of their position. She wanted to be the morning newswoman in the evening anchor’s chair. Perhaps if the evening news was more in line with Couric’s personality she would have done well, but it appears she only wanted the position to enhance her career in some way. She fell into the same trap so many have fallen into where they believe their job isn’t important or “serious” enough. When anyone has that sort of disposition and get a promotion, the Peter Principle sets in.

Katie Couric is irrelevant because she took the wrong job for the wrong reasons. Instead of being one of the best morning anchors in the nation, she chose to be the least effective evening anchor. Prestige only comes if you actually like and are good at the job you do.

 Saturday Satire: The UN SMART Committee

Order! Order! The UN General Council will now commence.

I’ve been thinking about the future of the UN. It becomes apparent to me that we have far too many in this organization working against our greater progressive goals, like combating global warming and reducing the exploitative system known as world capitalism. Corporate Social Responsibility has been effective in promoting many of our closet socialist policies for the greater good, but we have not made nearly enough progress. I propose that the UN form a new committee, formed solely of the opponents of our progressive policies in the UN, so that we may show them to be foolish by comparison and ignore them as a collective group. True, we love thinking in the collective group and it might be dangerous to allow the enemies of our policies that wonderful format, but it allows us to watch them all at once.

The name of this new committee will be SMART. It stands for Silly Morlock Assembly of Rightist Trolls. This acronym allows us to laugh at them while simultaneously being the witty geniuses we all know we are. We predict the makeup of its body will mostly come from the US and Israel, known agents of corruption and vileness, unlike the wonderful Mr. Mugabe who has done so much for the economy of Zimbabwe or Mahmoud Ahmedinijad, whose weekly addresses take a stand for human rights by refusing to acknowledge the existence of their worst offenders. They’ve made great inroads in human rights recently; women now only have to walk nine steps behind their husbands, before it was ten. This is in stark contrast to America, whose women still suffer from the hideousness of unequal pay when you compare the collective salary of all men to the collective salary of all women.

SMART will offer recommendations which the UN will consider in committee in the name of fairness, but likely ignore since we doubt they will provide for the advancement of the greater good. We believe in fairness, so they will have a weekly forum of approximately one hour to make their case, assuming other committees are not scheduled beforehand. We look forward to the infinite amusement SMART will provide us, we grow rather bored with the masses who ignore all our noble work in the Congo and Iraq. After all, we were introducing children to the world of adulthood and just helping innocent Iraqis get by. Saddam got a little cut, but he’s not such a bad guy. I mean, the trains always ran in Baghdad… or they would if Baghdad had trains.

We look forward to the creation of SMART and the resulting amusement it will give to all our wonderful diplomats from Africa and the Middle East. They are so far away from home in New York and there simply isn’t enough parking. They’ve even had to resort to parking in illegal spots, although thankfully the City of New York has been so gracious as to offer forgiveness for any transgressions, all of which were purely accidental.

The UN General Council will now adjourn. Thank you for listening to my humble proposal.

 Heed Liberal Advice: Stop Global Warming by Causing Massive Pollution!

That is the gist of the Live Earth nonsense going on. A bunch of puffed up has-been celebrities and rock stars doing untold damage to the environment in the name of eco-friendliness. The irony would be so rich if this weren’t SOP for Gore and his “Do as I Say not as I Do Posse.”

Topping the list of global warming has-beens is Snoop Dog. I never knew “gangstas” cared about the environment, what with their obsessions with big rims on pimped out rides. I forget whether it was him or P Diddy that went on that ridiculous
“Vote or Die” campaign. I don’t spend much time on pop culture, but the two are essentially the same guy. The differences are nearly inconsequential; they both represent the same sort of washed up rapper moving into politics because they’ve got nowhere left to go.

Rock concerts aren’t known for being the cleanliest of gatherings either. I imagine the street trash alone will amount to several tons if any decent crowd amasses. All the flights by the superstars coming in has to leave a massive carbon footprint. I don’t think sanctimonious words increase CO2 any more than humble ones, but it is a pollution of a different kind. It reeks of arrogance.

Essentially, Al Gore’s Live Earth concert is dedicated to nothing but making a load of pollution. There’s the moral pollution of a bunch of rappers talking about anything the plebeians should be doing to live better lives. There’s the actual pollution of rock stars and celebrities flying jets with their poodles and oversized luggage bags daring to tell the rest of us to live carbon neutral lives, not to mention all the trash that’s going to amass at the actual concert itself.

The whole Global Warming Movement is a crock. Al Gore just wants money in his pail. It’s a grand distraction from actual problems, like say the oil-renting Islamofascists. Got anything to say about that Al? After all, we need something better than fossil fuels, why aren’t you criticizing the Middle East? This kind of grandstanding, along with Al Gore’s personal hypocrisy of his heated pool in winter, jet trips to the Sierra Club and back, and his army of SUV escorts, proves that if Gore doesn’t really care about his pet cause, he’s just using it as a fund infusion. This is just the latest in a string of hypocrisy that only Al Gore has the bankroll and popular liberal butt kissers to pull off.

Conspiracy Writ Large

I had the displeasure of viewing Pat Buchanan’s column this morning on that dastardly fiend Scooter Libby and the massive neo-con Bush/Cheney/Rove conspiracy to get Joe Wilson. I always wonder what spawns these fanciful theories. See, I have this crazy idea that as President of the United States, Bush has more important things to do than plot conspiracies to ruin the lives of unknown ambassadors. I seem to think that Bush, despite all his failings, did not just wake up one day and say “you know, I don’t like that Joe Wilson cause he opposes the war, I think I’ll spend my day putting in place a massive conspiracy to harm him.”

But Tabloid politics thinks differently. In Tabloid politics, it still makes sense to talk about the covertness of Valerie Plame, even after we know that Richard Armitage, the guy who actually leaked the information, is flying high, making it irrelevant to Libby’s status.

I don’t really like talking about this whole mess. In the first place it is confusing, and second it’s about couple that needs secrecy so horribly, horribly badly that they posed for Vanity Fair at the outset. Now they are working on a few book deals. As for Libby, his crime is “lying to the grand jury,” which in this case means “not remembering everything that happened 2 years ago in the exact order that it happened.” The result of this perjury was 250G’s and 2.5 years in prison. Bush commuted the 2.5 years, much to the chagrin of the lefties, whose idea of justice is “Clinton good, Bush bad.” Old Billy “pardon the corruption” Jeff felt the need to pipe in as well, even though he’s pardoned terrorists, cronies, and all other manner of insider and vermin.

The point is this entire show trial has been a waste of everyone’s time. Joe Wilson was irrelevant before, Valerie Plame moreso. Nobody outside of the Beltway had any clue who Scooter Libby was. This was just another excuse for the Chimperor McBushitler BDS-ridden left to accuse Bush of foul play, and nothing more. Pat Buchanan is just another in the “blame Bush” crowd.

 Happy Birthday America!

Today is a glorious day, the birthday of America itself! 231 years ago today our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence. 231 years later, our republic still stands. 231 years later we have still kept it. 231 years later we have moved from a ragtag collection of farmers and merchants to the world’s foremost superpower.

Is everything perfect in America? Certainly not. Do I believe if we continue down the path started by the communists and aided and abetted by the 60’s and 70’s useful idiot hippie dopes that America will lose some of its greatness? Yes. Do I believe America has a long way to go to regain the culture which made us great in the first place? Yes.

America is the greatest nation on earth. So what makes America so great?

America is hated and reviled by the political elite of the rest of the west (and a few despotic holes here and there), but the normal folks are all clamoring to get in.

In America, you are free to be an ignorant fool. In America, you can call the president a fascist and not be hauled off by the Gestapo. In America, you can publish outright lies and call it a “documentary.” In America, you have the freedom to leave if you don’t like our country. In America, your worthless worms on the city council can kick off ROTC and JROTC programs from public schools and universities. If America has one weakness, it is that it gives too much leeway to its internal enemies. America affords more rights, leeway, and freedom than anywhere else on earth. People died for that freedom, people are still dying for that freedom. Even for the fools that don’t appreciate it.

God Bless America! May she continue to prosper for another 231 years, or more!

 Impossibly Horrendous Attention Whore Comes Back

No, not the blonde brat. Cindy Sheehan. (H/T: Hot Air)

When I first heard Cindy Sheehan’s story about losing her son, I had a limited tolerance for the craziness that ensued. Cindy Sheehan was among the first of the left’s “ABSOLUTE MORAL AUTHORITY!” card wielders on various topics. Cindy Sheehan’s sympathy ran out when she decided to pose on her son’s grave for Vanity Fair, followed by her statement that her son died for Bush’s War, which St. Cindy has equated to nothing.

After that there were the constant arrests, protests, that idiotic Jamba Juice and Ice Cream “fast,” yet more arrests, “Camp Casey,” her wish to go back in time and kill Bush, toting around with Dictator Hugo Chavez, and various other assorted insanity.

A little over a month ago Cindy grew disenfranchised with the Democratic Party because they were unable to get a surrender timetable in an Iraq appropriations bill. She figured she could retire and still be relevant without all her left-wing prop-ups. Needless to say, as a mere tool of the left they discarded her because she would no longer toe the line.

In the aftermath of Bush’s commute of Libby’s sentence, St. Cindy has manufactured an excuse to pick up her old left wing shill gig. Apparently all that crazy stuff that alienated her from her own family members made life hard for her when she wasn’t one of the morally unassailable champions of the left. Darn, and I was just starting to enjoy the peace and quiet.

The most tragic part of Cindy Sheehan’s story is that she has sold her soul to the anti-war left. She has alienated her family and her only friends are organizations full of like-minded, temporarily useful left-wing tools. Cindy Sheehan has been sold down the river. Now she lives only to become relevant by participating in ever more degrading and humiliating publicity stunts. She’s the political version of Jackass; trying too hard to be relevant by engaging in reckless, ridiculous behavior.

Harry Reid works for Tojo

Hat tip: Antimedia

Get a load of these:

1 Your President is lying to you.

2 This war is illegal.

3 You cannot win the war

Sounds like our good buddy Harry Reid, right? This isn’t news… or is it?

These were three points utilized in Japanese radio propaganda during World War II. The only difference is Franklin D Roosevelt was in the place of George W. Bush.

But hey, Harry Reid supports the troops. Tojo’s, that is. Or, shall we say, those of the Islamofascists.

Keep Pace, Fire Chertoff.

I apologize for the lapse in posts the last few days. I try to come up with at least pseudo-original posts even if the topic is widely commented on, giving credit where credit is due (aka Netiquette 101).

In any event, there has been much talk about Michael Chertoff in the wake of the Shamnesty debate. This man, who is supposed to be the chief of our homeland protection, had zero desire to enforce our borders and actually stooped to the level of Lord Grahamnesty in suggesting nothing short of capital punishment would appease the “right-wing bigots.” Meanwhile General Peter Pace is not going to be re-nominated for The Joint Chiefs of Staff, likely because at one point he decided to open his mouth about morality in the military. In response to a question about gays serving openly in the military, he had the audacity to say the military is not well served in allowing a policy that promotes immorality. This upset the homosexual lobby, whose natural reaction to any suggestion that making it openly know who you’d prefer to have sex with is inappropriate is to start yelling out “Bigot! Homophobe!” as loudly as possible. Pace is a competent general with a clear moral compass. If I were President, I’d re-nominate him in a second and let the homosexual lobby wail and gnash their teeth. Without intimidation and judicial fiat behind them, they are powerless nobodies.

Chertoff, meanwhile, is flying free as a bird. This shows just another personal flaw of Bush, whose quality of bullheaded tenacity becomes a vice because he doesn’t have the virtue of knowing where to direct it. This doesn’t mean Bush should always go with the so-called “base,” but it does say he shouldn’t crassly ignore the people who have always previously stood up to defend him.

In a perfect world, we would have a President unwilling to even think of compromising his principles for political expediency. Alas, every President is a politician (yes, even Fred, cultists.), so sometimes we just have to make do with what we have. Regardless of what happens with General Pace, I imagine his recommended replacement, Admiral Michael Mullen, will do a fine job. Chertoff, on the other hand, is incompetent and in a position where incompetence is lethal to the American people. Bush should suck it up and hire someone who is going to defend American borders. Guess what, they’re playing the “fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them here” game, and they’re sneaking across our southern border to do it. Kick Chertoff out, find someone who will actually defend our borders, and if you can, re-nominate Pace.

Lest you think I’m “lowering the discourse,” some name explanations

You may notice my selective use of names for certain politicians which I dislike. Well, I must say there is usually some significance behind them other than pure invective. Essentially I try to make their titles an amalgam on many of their qualities.

The Fatman (pr: [quickly] The Fatmun): This is Teddy Kennedy. Note that this is two words, not three. While it is true that Senator Kennedy is portly, the primary reason for this naming is his many parallels to Wilson Fisk (better known as the Kingpin of Spider-Man lore). If you think of a big boss in the Democratic Party, Ted Kennedy immediately comes to mind. Few bellow with the ferocity and vigor of Ted Kennedy. He is in every way likened to a sort of crime boss of the Democratic Party.

Lurch: Popular in many circles, many recognize Lurch as John Kerry. Not only does he have the physical likeness of this Frankenstein monster, he is just as difficult to comprehend. Lurch is also what he inspires many to do when he does speak.

Swinestein: Admittedly less inventive than the others but appropriate.

The Specter: Arlen Specter, RINO extraordinaire. This ghoul tends to show up taking orders from The Fatman whenever possible.

Lord Grahamnesty: Not only matching with Lindsey Graham’s initials, it also depicts the noble way in which he condemns all who oppose amnesty and bigots and xenophobes.

Dingy Harry and Dick Turbin are not my creations, they are simply in vogue. Were I to give them names of my own, I would probably name Harry Reid “Grim,” for his cadaver-like appearance and incessant need to bring death and negativity to everything he touches. Turbin hasn’t really been in the forefront, he’s more of a lemming than a leader.

I haven’t thought of a special name for Pelosi yet. Pelousy doesn’t cut it, she’s worse than lousy. Palomino would imply she is actually successful in some way, forcing us to surrender to her will and beg her to stop. The Bay Queen is better but still somehow inadequate. Penthouse Barbie also hits some points but doesn’t quite cut it.

Barack is just Barry O. For whatever reason, whenever Obama speaks I don’t get that sort of nutrootsian edge I get from the other lefties. Barack is the only Democratic candidate I think I could spend an evening with just shooting the breeze in a restaurant. I wouldn’t vote for him, but I could tolerate conversing with him for a couple hours. Barry O’s worst traits are that he’s a whiner and seemingly naïve. I don’t really detect any coldness or malevolence from him. It almost feels like he’s just going to the Uber left because that’s what is popular in Dem primaries.

The Glacier seems fitting for Hillary Clinton, although that terminology has been around for a while. It works and sounds better than Clintonbot. Edwards has had multiple names from Silky Pony to Breck Girl, but I would call him The Joker. The guy is about as sociopathic and passive-aggressive as you can get. Two-Face doesn’t fit because that villains primary problem was indecision. Edwards is so disturbing he even made Lurch cringe.

If Al Gore decides to enter, I’ll have to choose between The Goracle, Gorebot 3.0, or The Dozer. The Goracle is a bit too one-issue to use on Gore’s presidential campaign, Gorebot 3.0 (now with more global warming) would be Al-Gores new reinvented self, as opposed to VP Gore and Gore 2000. The Dozer is based off of his hollyweird cult possibly allowing him to mow down all other candidates, especially Obama by stealing his cult, and its also the fact listening to Gorebot 3.0 induces sleep.

I usually only reserve names for people I dislike, so I don’t have any for the Republican candidates. Maybe Virtua Fighter for Ron Paul since his real-world polls are far inferior to his online ones. McBane is for McCain, based on the fairly dimwitted Simpsons character and the fact that he’s the bane of many conservatives.

 Shamnesty Update: Cloture failed, Dems still the Minority Majority

Plaise Allah, Shamnesty failed today a whopping 46-53 Yeas-Nays. That didn’t stop the rhetoric coming from the open borders folks.

Here’s some background.

Shamnesty supporters got 50 minutes to bloviate about voting for shamnesty. Shamnesty opponents got 10 minutes. To put this in perspective, Harry Reid got more time to tell his fanciful stories and attack talk radio than the entirety of the anti-shamnesty contingent got to make all of their arguments (he was aided by Barry O who was presiding, giving Reid extra time because “the speaker is allowed leeway”). Fairness doctrine? Not a chance.

A basic roundup:

Pro-Shamnesty:

The Fatman (Kennedy) invoked the civil rights movement and likened opposition to amnesty to support of the Gestapo.

The Specter complained about no-one offering alternatives (aka complete BS) and later told us he asked his country club buddies and they agree with him. Further still, he complained that Senators always get more negative e-mails than positive ones, but brushed it off. Apparently, even if the naysayers crash the entire communications capabilities of the US Senate trying to voice their opposition, they can still be ignored.

Swinestein talked about “doing the right thing” –by supporting amnesty.

Jon Kyl talked about doing what “the majority” wants, by which he means the majority of amnesty-supporting Senators, not the American people who tied up all the phone and fax lines and crashed the Senate e-mail system.

Lord Grahamnesty implored us to recognize there are Democrats and Republicans and not everyone gets what they want in his standard whiny fashion. He even invoked 9/11 and talked about how important security was.

Salazar (along with most of the others) talked about hatred and venom coming from the right, ignoring of course that they called anyone who opposed them bigots.

Dick Turbin pulled the race card as well, and said that the 80% of Americans that don’t want the bill to pass don’t know American values.

Mel Martinez of Florida shared the sentiment of many amnesty supporters: “passing any bill is better than passing no bill.” He also got a chance to play the “ABSOLUTE MORAL AUTHORITY!” card as an immigrant.

Harry Reid was easily the worst though: blathering on for about 12 minutes, telling us story of his immigrant buddy who only needs the bill to pass before he “comes forward and does the right thing.” Reid took the time to attack talk radio, called opponents bigots and racists, and was essentially an amalgam of all the other shamnesty shills. Then Reid, after overstaying his time (unnoticed by Barry O) was called out by Sessions, who was told not to interrupt Reid.

Anti-Shamnesty:

The Anti-shamnesty senators only got 10 minutes between them, so they had to be succinct. They still rocked the house.

Elizabeth Dole: The people don’t want to be given promises, not proof.

Corker was commonsense. No money quotes but he did a great job dissecting Specters “nobody put anything forward” BS.

Jim Demint: There is a crisis of confidence, the American people don’t have confidence in their government. “Isn’t that how it always goes.” Finally: “What part of NO don’t we understand?”

Vitter: Pointed out in public what I already stated. Pro-Shamnesty got 40-50 minutes, the American people only got 10.

You probably would have been able to figure out Shamnesty opponents got far less than Shamnesty supporters on your own, but the contrast is stark, isn’t it?

In the Aftermath, Nancy Pelosi blamed Republicans for “failing the American people,” despite the massive unpopularity of the shamnesty bill. This is just more proof that Nancy and Reid still want to whine like they are in the minority. Any failings belong to the other side. You can bet if this shamnesty passed Pelosi would be hailing a Democratic victory despite the bigots/fascists/ideologues of the right. It is more proof that Pelosi only cares about what her open borders sycophants think and doesn’t actually care about being the people’s speaker. You already know my opinion of Pelosi: she’s an irrelevant, weak, ethically challenged left-wing tool.

Impossibly Stupid Attention Whore Gets Worse

Wow, I don’t know who to blame for this. I don’t usually cover Hollyweird losers, rich spoiled brats, or attention whores, but this just crosses the line. Seriously, Mommy and Daddy Hilton should put a leash on their daughter (or better yet, cut her out of her inheritance and give it to a poor black guy with a knack for hotel management).

I didn’t care that Paris was thrown in jail, good riddance to a mindless leech whose only contribution to society was keeping Neiman Marcus successful. Supposedly she found God in prison, but I’m not buying that for a second. Using racial epithets is new for her though. How low can Daddy’s little princess go before she finally suffers consequences for her behavior? How could they let their own daughter become a mindless, materialistic lowlife? Paris Hilton could have made something of herself, she could have actually put contributed to society with all that money, fame, and endless educational opportunity. Instead she became a vulgar prostitute know for being an airhead more than an heiress. What a waste. If I were Daddy Hilton, I’d cut Paris’ allowance and axe her from my will, in the process giving the rights to my business to someone who won’t make my business go under as soon as I do. Paris can’t run a chain of hotels; the little twit can’t even get her own life in order.

This will be my one and only post on Paris Hilton. She has all of the qualities which I vehemently despise in human beings. She could do anything she wanted with her life and she chose to be a mooching bum. She could have been a decent and proper representative of her family but chose to make a reputation as a whore and an airhead. She appreciates nothing. She knows the value of nothing. She doesn’t apply herself to anything other than living for Paris Hilton. She has never had to suffer in her entire life. She is an arrogant narcissist insulated from the reality the rest of us face every day. The only reason anybody gives a damn about her is because she’s Daddy Hilton’s little girl.

If only our media valued standards more than money. The only coverage we should have had was the following: “Paris Hilton went to jail today. She was a professional narcissist with nothing to offer civilized society. She’ll be out in 25 days after a load of irreverent whining on her part. Good riddance, Paris, just don’t make another tape in prison.”

That’s all I have to say, and this is the nice version.